Smooth Like the Buttocks of A Newborn Baby

Because my game is extra tight, I feel obligated to share this story because as we all know, there are always three versions: Her version, My version and the TROOF.

So it goes like this. Esq and I had lunch at our favorite Happy Hour Sports Bar & Grill - last minute decision. I normally go out for lunch anyway (If I'm lucky it's on someone elses tab...I keed I totally keed, you'll realize when I get to the part about how tight my game is that I am truly kidding), so I decided to throw out the spot as an option to see if Esq was up for it. Cool, and we go.

We walk in and sit down, one of the bartenders that we hadn't seen in a few weeks was working. He was running around sweating like nobody's business, poor thing. There were a handful of people sitting around the bar when we sat down, they all looked like they were finishing up. A couple minutes later Esq and I look up and everyone is gone. Bartender walks by and the exchange goes a lil something like this:

Bartenderoni: Is it just me or is it hot as hell in here?
Me: I don't know why you're so hot, there's nobody here but us two *Esq and I look all around the bar noting that it is empty and we are the only two sitting there*
Bartenderoni: I did this all by myself *as he looks around at all the empty plates and glasses*
Me: You're still working way too hard.

I mean damn, see how tight my game is?

Esq and I finish eating and pay our tabs. In the course of the convo over lunch, Esq asks me if I think Bartenderoni is cute. Yes, I would say so. I think to myself how I am going to SMOOTHLY slip him my number - because I am smooth as shit.

I pay my bill, sign, leave a tip and then right before we walk out, I SLAM my business card on the bar like it was the high joker in a game of spades. Fucking shit my game is tight. So, if I didn't scare him off with the slamming of the card onto the bar, he might call me. I say I have a 2% chance.