Road Rage

I swear, when I think I've had it with missed connections, something like this makes it all worthwhile. Sure there have been a couple that I thought were for me. One practically SCREAMED my name, but I suppose the dumb ass who wrote it didn't anticipate a response and he got scared, someone was just fucking with me as I initially suspected or he just doesn't know how to check his email. Whatever.

I digress, this though, this is hilarious. I love passive aggressiveness when it's not directed at me or anyone care about.

I admit I sometimes drive aggressively, maybe to the point where I just might piss off other people on the road. I'll even go as far as to be pissed off at everyone else on the road because they're ALL in my way. Sure it's ass backwards, but they're hindering my progress. I need to get home and watch water boil or something and everyone is being so damn careful obeying the damn speed limit and stopping at red lights. Live a little, go 5MPH over the posted limit. I promise you won't get pulled over unless you're in Emporia.

Anyhow, I love this missed connection!

People really DO use Missed Connections, and now I has one!

Unless someone I know is fucking with me, which is highly probable, since they all know of my craigslist obsession. For now though, lets roll with the assumption that some, available, single man really did notice me:


So, let's break this down to reasons why I believe this is for me:

1. I am pretty *blink*
   
2. I have black hair.
3. I drop off my kid at said school every morning.
4. I do check my mirror religiously, although not for my hair. I have this obsession with checking to make sure I don't have boogers in my nose, eye crust, and/or junk in my teeth.
5. I drive said type of car.

We shall see...

Good Woman where are you?

He still hasn't found what he's looking for

I now dub thee as
"The head shot phenomenon"

Still Wookin Pa Nub

I'm not sure if I even have words for this.



After the picture in ad #1 at the bar with the wife-beater he was feeling really fly, so he went home and took another picture (in the same exact pose, with the same exact expression). What can I say, he's always on the go, eh. We have an upgrade though, he likes to watch movies, so he added the picture standing by his television to reiterate that statement.....wearing his raincoat.

Missed Connections - The Social Experiment

Back in November when my obsession with craigslist was beginning, I decided that I wanted to see if the missed connection crap really worked or if all the bullshit was just that...bullshit. Do people really read and respond? Point is, every where I went I had my eye out for someone that I could conjure up a missed connection post for and in turn hope that he was a missed connection reader like me.

One day I went to lunch with Mr. Right (who actually turned into Mr. Flaky) , a couple police men came in to eat. I couldn't help but notice one of them, He was just.....ummmm hot. The whole time Mr. Right is talking to me I'm plotting my missed connection post. Short and sweet:

A few nights later, I get an email "I think I'm the person you're looking for"

HOLY SHIT, It works!

Turns out his friend is a reader and told him about the post.

We chatted it up, IMs, text messages. I made it a point to ask if he had a wife or a girlfriend (not trying to be #2). He said he was single and has maintained that he is single and just casually dating but for the past 5 months I have yet to see or hear from this man outside of his working hours.

Exercise in woman's intuition - Trust it.

Someone that knows him has let me know Mr. Serve and Protect is in fact married.

Missed Connections - Success
Honest Man - Fail

The Italian Stallion

This stood out to me because he describes himself as being blessed and cursed "at da same tyme". He's obviously bragging on his goods, but I'm DYING to know how he will respond sooooo, I have to "jus ask" him:

"sometime's its a blessing, sometime's its a curse".

*aside* - "sometimes" has an apostrophe "s" in it?

Bottom line, to the Italian Stallion, being well endowed boils down to this -> "sometime is it is a blessing and sometime is it is a curse"

More from Craigslist

Which one of these photos is not like the other......



Change outfit and background (that screams creativity) add random body part to mix it up (proves diversity) and VOILA!!!!!!!!!!

Missed Connection - Hot Dogs

I read this and had to Laugh out Loud........

Beeeeznatch how do you know he's not talking to his MOM!!!!?????

Why can't you use correct grammar Shawty?

I've noticed this trend on the interwebz, well OK, Craigslist specifically......WHAT? SO FUCKING WHAT? I read Craigslist like a dog licks his balls - every chance he gets. Anyway, I read these things and wonder WHY people don't spell check their shit. Is there something I'm missing? Did Microsoft come out with the "text slang save time grammar and spell check" with the new windows service pack? So anyway, I'm perusing the postings and apparently this guy goes to the mall with his "lil brutha" and decided that he wanted a hat or that he at least wanted to browse the selection. He goes to the "hatstore". He looks at the hats. He decides to buy one. I would venture to say that he picked up a few different colors while he was browsing, maybe a blue one, then a red one. He sees a girl in the store that catches his eye, he's way too shy to say anything and his "lil brutha" is rushing him out of the "hatstore".


This girl really made an impression on him, and as with all craigslist missed connection posters, they all begin with some variation of "This is a long shot" "You'll probably never see this".....I LOVE This one because he says....

"u probly neva c dis post...."

That is classic and I would be all over a man that reached out to me on craigslist with a message like that. That is the greatest first impression that could be made on a woman. I am so turned on by the exhibition of grammatical prowess. Oh how I wish that missed connection was for me.

My craigslist obsession is dwindling

After achieving "best of" a few months back, that challenge, that Je ne sais quoi, that Craigslist "it" factor is no longer present. Not to mention, I suspect the same 3 or 4 attention starved people are posting up different ads in an attempt to jump start their non-existent social life. I know one in particular is running through trying to steal my glory, I even set some bait for him and he bit like a big fat bass going for that wiggly worm in the salty ass Chesapeake Bay.

I caught you, you fake Craigslist poster!!

A Random Musing about OPP (other peoples personals)

I've come to the conclusion that people are idiots (surprise surprise). Now, I myself, am not perfect, FAR from it. I have never claimed perfection and matter of fact, I experience sporadic waves of imperfection as well as brief moments of pure stupidity.

I find pure comic relief in perusing OPP (other peoples personals) and laugh myself silly wondering WHO in thee HELL is going to respond to the damn things!?

So this guy apparently is looking for a "real woman", I mean he IS a "real man" that smells good. He has pictures, including a picture of his closet full of his "kicks" and "gear". Do you think maybe he's trying to impress us with his organizational skills? That closet looks very organized. Hmmmmm, he's going to attract a winner with that one. A real gold digging winner, or...better yet, a man who wants to share his gear. How about the fact that he points out he is a "black man". He must want a smart woman too because we obviously can't tell his skin color simply by looking at his pictures. Yes, and he's creative - I fail to see the creativity in his ad, however the organization of his closet shows a bit of style. Oh and wait! He is FREAKY too! Oh baby, let me message him NOW.

Awesomeness

As it turns out, perfect strangers appreciate my sense of (or lack of) humor, as evidenced by my nomination and subsequent inclusion to the "Best-of-Craigslist" postings. If you get a chance peruse this section. It's great!!

My Craigslist obsession continues

I am obsessed, completely obsessed with Craigslist "Missed Connections". I check every day multiple times searching for that someone who didn't have the balls to approach me in person. I read it with nervous anticipation, at the edge of my seat even. It's quite amusing. When one of the posts comes remotely close to something that could relate to me, my palms sweat, and my heart rate increases.

This can't be normal!

So, today I took it upon myself to call out for my own missed connection.

I've gotten some lovely responses. "You're awesome" "That was great" "You've missed your calling".

Yeah I chuckled LOUDLY as I was writing it, and for the record I really DON'T pick my nose while I'm driving.

The guilty pleasure of ALL guilty pleasures CRAIGSLIST personals....

Maybe not the be all end all of ALL guilty pleasures, but currently at the top of my list. It certainly ranks up there for its entertainment value. I mean, how can you not be sucked in based on the thousands of desperate and needy men, women, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, married people, divorced people, people throwing out their hotel room for a late night tryst and oh just the average joe selling his old computer desk. It's complete insanity all in a nice little bundle called Craigslist.

Last night, I felt very poetic, and inspired. I blogged, I thought out loud, I MySpaced, I thought "hey, I should post an ad on Craigslist" - and so I did.

I've gotten some great responses, well some off the wall, some very clever and witty. I do enjoy that. I clearly ask for a picture first because I really would rather not initiate banter with someone without knowing what they look like and that being said, I'd like to know that they aren't a troll with missing teeth and a cock eye. OK, call me stuck up, I just think that in the on line dating/meeting game, my intent is to find someone that I can pursue a relationship or something (whatever this is) with. So, sorry for not being physically attracted to cock eyes and missing teeth. Sue me. OK really don't sue me, because I have this awesome friend who is pre-law and can argue her ass off and will always be right no matter how you slice it.

I promise I don't have a cock eye or missing teeth. Well, I can cock my eye in certain situations, some of which include my good friend Mr. Ardi....first name Bac.