*Ring Ring*
Me: Hello
Unidentified Caller: I have a tape of you having sex
Me: Hello? What?
Unidentified Caller: I have a tape of you having sex
Me: What? Who is this?
Unidentified Caller: I can’t say, I just have you on tape having sex with someone.
Me: With who?
Unidentified Caller: I can’t tell you.
Me: I want to see it.
Unidentified Caller: Well I can’t give it to you over the phone. I can meet you somewhere.
Me: Where are you gonna meet me at? You know, you’re about a
DUMB ASS MUTHA FUCKER. You won’t tell me who you are, or who I’m with in my “sex tape” but you’re about to meet me somewhere?
Unidentified Caller: *CLICK*
I have a sex tape. I wonder if its VHS, Beta? Maybe he’ll put it on You Tube oh wait – it’s a TAPE (obviously not up to speed with digitizing things, otherwise, I would have gotten an email with my video, or a link to my uploaded sex clip – dumb ass didn’t think his little prank through. E40, your friends are WACK.)
I hope the camera angle does me justice.
Showing posts with label E40. Show all posts
Showing posts with label E40. Show all posts
June 1, 2009
May 3, 2009
True Playerz 4 Realz
A little background on the playerz: RT texts all the time. It's the text version of a person who runs their mouth nonstop because they like the sound of their voice and feel the need to share their voice with everyone in the vicinity. He sends messages to BK and I simultaneously. It's ridiculous. The funniest thing is that I never gave this guy my phone number. I never gave either guy my phone number. Only E40 had my phone number. RT and Thuggish supposedly took it upon themselves to "retrieve" my contact information from E40's phone. I think its all a big fucking junior high game to them. They're playing pass the number to see if one of them might possibly be charming enough to get some ass. I'm too old for this crap, and have more important shit to do than entertain gibberish in the form of text messages from dudes I never gave my number to ( I do have to add this disclaimer though - Thuggish is cute. Had he not been feeding my friend skrimps at the BBQ or trying to get with both my girls and had I met him under different circumstances and if he didn't have a criminal record......HA! ok nevermind)
WTF...
So, this has been going on since my trip to Florida. Text messages from RT that is, I rarely respond. When I do, its "Why are you texting me" "Isn't that kind of fucked up that you took my number from your boy" type shit.
Well - Thuggish throws himself in the mix. His texting style is suspiciously similar to RT's, and all of their texts come minutes apart.
WTF...
So, this has been going on since my trip to Florida. Text messages from RT that is, I rarely respond. When I do, its "Why are you texting me" "Isn't that kind of fucked up that you took my number from your boy" type shit.
Well - Thuggish throws himself in the mix. His texting style is suspiciously similar to RT's, and all of their texts come minutes apart.
Thuggish April 30 @ 6:13pm - Anyways I was jus textin to c how u and the girls were doin. E40 said yall dnt speak as much..I called him stupid n took ya number! Hope u dnt mind..
RT May 1 @ 4:50PM - Im sorry i wantd u 4 myself. And that i stole ya num from E40 phone. I hope u r wel and i jus wantd 2 chil w u and thot E40 was not goin 2 b ya type
RT May 1 @ 5:08PM - Tmobile boo. Lol. Yes its RT. No e. Do u accept my apology. I didnt hear from u n 4eva. Were u mad at me? And i have only 2 numbas.
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:15PM - Yeah im sure..I jus got off, wat u up to
RT May 1 @ 5:19PM - So how r u tho
RT May 1 @ 5:23PM - Naw. that was thuggish textn u. And y u thnk i b frontn. I was feeln u. neva frontd. But if thats how u feel. that hurts my feelns a lil
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:25PM - This is my number, ma..has anybody seen the beyonce movie?
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:30PM - Who u wit?..I gotta tke shower, told u I jus got off n I gotta drop RT off at ja by 630..u gonna have to guide me there cuz I dnt know the area..u already there.
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:30PM - if not we can ride together..want somethin to do tonite!
RT May 1 @ 5:31PM - She neva hitz me bak. Kinda like u. So thats y u said i b frontn. Wel aparantly u feeln my boi so ima fall bak. Have fun at roga browns.
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:36PM - Bout to walk-in now..I b ready to hook up afterwards tho..
RT May 3 @ 4:03PM - U mus be scared 2 talk 2 me. Y is that. Cus im real?
RT May 3 @ 6:55PM - Y on earth do u thnk i play games. I truly likd ur style and knew who realy plays games and a whole lota otha shit. Thats y i even wantd 2 talk 2 u. I th
RT May 3 @ 6:55PM - ot u and i wud bond prety gd. And BK is kool. But i was likn u. Am i wrong 4 that. Im grown. Dont play games. We were al supose 2 b friends. Its not li
RT May 3 @ 6:55PM - ke BK and i were talkn. Sory u feel that way. And y dont u and E40 talk n e more
RT May 3 @ 7:29PM - That was a mouthful
RT May 3 @ 8:34PM - I feel so stupid
Turns out that Friday night, all these fuckers are in the same car, texting this ridiculous shit to BK and I. (BK wasn't with us. Esq and I were at Happy Hour.) It's FUCKING STUPID and they wonder why we don't entertain their bull shit.
RT May 1 @ 4:50PM - Im sorry i wantd u 4 myself. And that i stole ya num from E40 phone. I hope u r wel and i jus wantd 2 chil w u and thot E40 was not goin 2 b ya type
RT May 1 @ 5:08PM - Tmobile boo. Lol. Yes its RT. No e. Do u accept my apology. I didnt hear from u n 4eva. Were u mad at me? And i have only 2 numbas.
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:15PM - Yeah im sure..I jus got off, wat u up to
RT May 1 @ 5:19PM - So how r u tho
RT May 1 @ 5:23PM - Naw. that was thuggish textn u. And y u thnk i b frontn. I was feeln u. neva frontd. But if thats how u feel. that hurts my feelns a lil
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:25PM - This is my number, ma..has anybody seen the beyonce movie?
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:30PM - Who u wit?..I gotta tke shower, told u I jus got off n I gotta drop RT off at ja by 630..u gonna have to guide me there cuz I dnt know the area..u already there.
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:30PM - if not we can ride together..want somethin to do tonite!
RT May 1 @ 5:31PM - She neva hitz me bak. Kinda like u. So thats y u said i b frontn. Wel aparantly u feeln my boi so ima fall bak. Have fun at roga browns.
Thuggish May 1 @ 5:36PM - Bout to walk-in now..I b ready to hook up afterwards tho..
RT May 3 @ 4:03PM - U mus be scared 2 talk 2 me. Y is that. Cus im real?
RT May 3 @ 6:55PM - Y on earth do u thnk i play games. I truly likd ur style and knew who realy plays games and a whole lota otha shit. Thats y i even wantd 2 talk 2 u. I th
RT May 3 @ 6:55PM - ot u and i wud bond prety gd. And BK is kool. But i was likn u. Am i wrong 4 that. Im grown. Dont play games. We were al supose 2 b friends. Its not li
RT May 3 @ 6:55PM - ke BK and i were talkn. Sory u feel that way. And y dont u and E40 talk n e more
RT May 3 @ 7:29PM - That was a mouthful
RT May 3 @ 8:34PM - I feel so stupid
Turns out that Friday night, all these fuckers are in the same car, texting this ridiculous shit to BK and I. (BK wasn't with us. Esq and I were at Happy Hour.) It's FUCKING STUPID and they wonder why we don't entertain their bull shit.
April 8, 2009
The "Q"
I was supposed to get together with E40 and do something anyway and since he was bragging on his cooking skills, I figured I would round up the girls and have a cook out. I also figured it was a good way to get people over to play guitar hero with me. E40 got a couple of his friends and BK and Esq came over.
The plan was for E40 to come with supplies in hand.....you know meatz, beerz, and such. He showed up with his 2 boys: Thuggish Ruggish and Ralph Tresvant oh and some beerz. Cool - no problem, we all sat around and BS'd for a bit, got in a game of Wii bowling - I kicked ass by the way.
Time to fire up the grill...
E40 and Tresvant head to the store to get the supplies. BK, Esq and Thuggish start playing a drinking game "Never have I ever". You know the one where you make a statement and if you've done it you take a drink......Very Interesting.....It went something like this:
Never have I ever carved initials into someones back
BK takes a drink, Thuggish Ruggish *blank stare* then *blink*. I think he was taken aback by that revelation as it was completely contradictory to her innocent demeanor.
Never have I ever been to jail
BK and Thuggish take drinks
Thuggish, out of beer, goes to grab another. Of course we're wondering what he was locked up for.....
Never have I ever committed armed robbery
BINGO BANGO BONGO.......Thuggish drinks and says "That was cute"
The game continues and at some point, something is said that is so asinine (no pun intended) that I am the only one that Never have I ever. I end laughing so hard that I spew red wine out my nostrils and all over my forehead and shades. It was really cute, no really it was.
One of the major underlying events that we cannot overlook is the blatant violation of the "girl rule", not by the girls, but by the oblivious "how fast can I get in some pants" Tresvant and Thuggish. I don't know about other females, but you can't cross flirt with us - It's rather insulting to flirt with my girl and when she turns you down, move on to me. I mean damn, if I wasn't your first choice, kiss my ass. Now, being that they came with E40 saved them. That and the fact that they were pretty entertaining and from what we could tell, good people, besides being typical men -> "fast", we just brushed it off and carried on with the spades, guitar hero and beerz.
Good times.
The plan was for E40 to come with supplies in hand.....you know meatz, beerz, and such. He showed up with his 2 boys: Thuggish Ruggish and Ralph Tresvant oh and some beerz. Cool - no problem, we all sat around and BS'd for a bit, got in a game of Wii bowling - I kicked ass by the way.
Time to fire up the grill...
E40 and Tresvant head to the store to get the supplies. BK, Esq and Thuggish start playing a drinking game "Never have I ever". You know the one where you make a statement and if you've done it you take a drink......Very Interesting.....It went something like this:
Never have I ever carved initials into someones back
BK takes a drink, Thuggish Ruggish *blank stare* then *blink*. I think he was taken aback by that revelation as it was completely contradictory to her innocent demeanor.
Never have I ever been to jail
BK and Thuggish take drinks
Thuggish, out of beer, goes to grab another. Of course we're wondering what he was locked up for.....
Never have I ever committed armed robbery
BINGO BANGO BONGO.......Thuggish drinks and says "That was cute"
The game continues and at some point, something is said that is so asinine (no pun intended) that I am the only one that Never have I ever. I end laughing so hard that I spew red wine out my nostrils and all over my forehead and shades. It was really cute, no really it was.
One of the major underlying events that we cannot overlook is the blatant violation of the "girl rule", not by the girls, but by the oblivious "how fast can I get in some pants" Tresvant and Thuggish. I don't know about other females, but you can't cross flirt with us - It's rather insulting to flirt with my girl and when she turns you down, move on to me. I mean damn, if I wasn't your first choice, kiss my ass. Now, being that they came with E40 saved them. That and the fact that they were pretty entertaining and from what we could tell, good people, besides being typical men -> "fast", we just brushed it off and carried on with the spades, guitar hero and beerz.
Good times.
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