Dating......Oh Noes.

Wellllllllll - here it is......

I have decided to thrust myself full force into the realm of dating. I anticipate a great adventure, or maybe not so great adventures that are entertainingly ridiculously knee-slappingly mind-boggleingly hilarious. We shall see.

First things first, because of my life - I don't have the advantage of attending a large number of social events. When I am in a social situation, its usually a bar or club and well, we all know that is NOT the prime spot to meet a quality man. So, what is the answer you ask? The internet :)......

It's tough weeding through the potentials. I've found that. just like in a real life situation, the virtual dating scene has it's "types" too. I also find that I can feel connected to someone from their picture alone. All bullshit aside, attraction IS the first step, and if I don't think you're cute in your picture then there is NO hope for anything further.

The types:
1. The one that puts up pictures on dating site hugged up with other women.
2. The one that blows kisses at the camera and/or is sucking on a lollipop.
3. The one that has 5 pictures of himself with his shirt off flexing for the camera.
4. The one that puts up an OLD picture and knows its old and comments that its the "most recent one he has".
5. The one that has a pre written script for every woman within a 150 mile radius of him. (Hey one of the women has to respond, right?)

So after a few weeks of muddling through the perpetual on line dating mess. I see one that sparks my interest. Yes, his pictures do have potential. We exchange flirtatious messages, joking, conversating, scratching the surface of getting to know one another. Yes, I think I'd like to meet this one.Now, I am a paranoid person by nature so even though I've thrown myself into the realm of online dating, actually getting myself out there to physically MEET someone is an entirely different beast. I sense some potential and need to do this for myself especially after the horrible few months I've just had and crap that I've recently been subject to.

So we go out......more to come....

You can love me until you're blue in the face.....

It's just not enough.

I thought I could justify the betrayal and disrespect based upon love alone, but no matter how I try to paint the picture, all the colors blend together and make this big blob of black crap.

You can't love me with all your heart and spend your nights in another woman's bed, kissing her and stroking her hair.
You can't love me and spend your days cuddling on the couch watching movies with another woman like you and I used to do.
You don't love me when you let the words "I love you" come out of your mouth and they aren't directed at me.

Bottom line, you can't claim to love me and want to spend the rest of your life with me and expect me to believe your empty words when all you do and have done is been inconsiderate and disrespectful.

I have never been so hurt and betrayed.

I would be a self respect lacking fool to ever accept you back into my life after what you've done.