Cherries in my Drink

...but not in Esq's. It's become a known fact that if you put anything sweet in Esq's drinks she will spit.

Our bartender is awesome. He hooks us up like no other, even more than Johnny blue eyes at the Disney Hotel - and I thought he was good. Last night, in an effort to avoid dried spit along the side of my car, Bartender skips the cherries for Esq because we both say in unison as he sets our drinks down:

"Sweet things make her spit"

He looks at us innocently and asks:

"If sweet makes you spit does salty make you swallow?"

**As a side note, I had to totally apologize to Bartenderoni. He was working and I felt like a complete idiot after slamming my business card down like the High Joker the other day at lunch.. I'm sure he had some sort of flashback as well.

Smooth Like the Buttocks of A Newborn Baby

Because my game is extra tight, I feel obligated to share this story because as we all know, there are always three versions: Her version, My version and the TROOF.

So it goes like this. Esq and I had lunch at our favorite Happy Hour Sports Bar & Grill - last minute decision. I normally go out for lunch anyway (If I'm lucky it's on someone elses tab...I keed I totally keed, you'll realize when I get to the part about how tight my game is that I am truly kidding), so I decided to throw out the spot as an option to see if Esq was up for it. Cool, and we go.

We walk in and sit down, one of the bartenders that we hadn't seen in a few weeks was working. He was running around sweating like nobody's business, poor thing. There were a handful of people sitting around the bar when we sat down, they all looked like they were finishing up. A couple minutes later Esq and I look up and everyone is gone. Bartender walks by and the exchange goes a lil something like this:

Bartenderoni: Is it just me or is it hot as hell in here?
Me: I don't know why you're so hot, there's nobody here but us two *Esq and I look all around the bar noting that it is empty and we are the only two sitting there*
Bartenderoni: I did this all by myself *as he looks around at all the empty plates and glasses*
Me: You're still working way too hard.

I mean damn, see how tight my game is?

Esq and I finish eating and pay our tabs. In the course of the convo over lunch, Esq asks me if I think Bartenderoni is cute. Yes, I would say so. I think to myself how I am going to SMOOTHLY slip him my number - because I am smooth as shit.

I pay my bill, sign, leave a tip and then right before we walk out, I SLAM my business card on the bar like it was the high joker in a game of spades. Fucking shit my game is tight. So, if I didn't scare him off with the slamming of the card onto the bar, he might call me. I say I have a 2% chance.

When Fantasy Trumps Reality

There is nothing better than a little game of cat and mouse across the bar with a guy, especially when the he has a chick sitting next to him. That's a compliment, right? There are certainly no expectations, not trying to move in on another girls man. It's innocent flirting. The dude had to go and ruin it though. Why did he have to say something and ruin the fantasy after his girl left?

True Story, this really happened at happy hour and Esq told the guy: "Dude don't talk to me, it was better when we were flirting across the bar"

I wanted to roll around on the dirty ass bar floor and laugh myself to tears, it was hilarious.

One Hundred

One hundred posts. w00t.

It appears that this is a tradition in blog-land to commemorate the 100th post. Sure I'll jump in and play along. Coincidentally, my 100th blog post parallels a couple other noteworthy events:

• Obamas first 100 days in office.
  
• Happy Hour starting at 3:30pm. Love in my drinks in T-minus 150 minutes.
• May Day

Exciting

Rum-n-Diet Coke "with love"

Love = Cherries

they look like hearts floating around the bottom of my drink

YUM

Friday after work, Happy Hour at Roger Brown's, our Bartender (he has become our bartender because on our 2nd visit he knew our drinks - so we heart him) decided to start throwing some love in our drinks. I thought he just wanted to see us tie the cherry stems in knots in our mouths *blank stare* but no, it was just a gesture of amore. It's such a shame that sweet things make Esq spit. The Love in her glass resulted in a stream of spit dried along the passenger side of my car. I'm sure she doesn't remember, but it was disgustingly hilarious.

Roger Brown's after work on Fridays - good times.

It's SPRING BREAK BITCHES.....

Another Friday - another non-committal drink meet up. Why not? IT'S SPRING BREAK BITCHES, and I'm a free woman for the next 7ish days.

Roger Browns, quickly becoming a favorite "meet me for a drink" spot. Being that this was the 2nd time in my life that I had ever been here for Happy Hour, I was flabbergasted when the bartender knew what I wanted to drink. Damn, I only had 3 or 7 drinks last time, and he wasn't even the one who served me - what's up with that? Of course Esq. found it extremely amusing that the whole damn bar knew what I was drinking.

So we chit chat about who I'm supposed to be meeting. We're sitting at the bar, I, of course, have my back to the door. Esq. stares intently at the front of the establishment checking out every man that walks in. "Is that him?". "Oh that one looks like Turtle from Entourage" , then she laughs as he walks by. My reply? "Oh, I hope that's not him". In walks the king himself. ELVIS. Only because he's from Memphis and has a country boy accent. It's cute though and he's a really nice guy.

The next day: McFadden's and Dreamy Dr. Noah. I decided to ask Dr. Noah if he had some time to meet me for a drink. We were supposed to meet up during the week, but I had issues with my car and wasn't able to drive anywhere outside of a 5 mile radius of my home. He agrees. 30 minutes later, I'm in McFadden's sitting at the bar. 2 drinks later, this cute little Irish guy starts chatting it up with me. "Can I buy you a drink lady?"........to which I reply "But of course". 1/2 way into my free drink and conversation with my own personal leprechaun, Dr. Noah shows up. YUMMY. I do feel bad that I completely turn my back on Mr. Ireland and divert all of my attention to Dr. Noah. I had no choice though, I was there to meet him, right? Super YUM. He says he'd like to take me out for sushi sometime very soon. I'm staring at my phone Dr. Noah. CALL ALREADY.