If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. I shouldn't have to fight for attention, or knowingly compete with another woman. In my opinion, it should be a personal decision that the man makes IF he wants me. Some men claim they have no time etc etc etc. Well, truth be told - If its the right person, time will ALWAYS be made. Yeah yeah, I'm guilty of it too, the "I just don't have any time" blow off. Claiming I'm oh SO busy. Truth be told, I'm probably just washing my hair, cutting my toenails, watching reruns of The Office, i.e. not that busy, however if you were the "the one I want to make the time for man" I'd throw my hair up in a bun, clip my dawgs another day and make time. That's just how it works. There is ALWAYS TIME, nothing short of death will keep him away - and well even then, sometimes death won't, but then we'd be talking about zombies and that's an entirely different conversation.If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Really, no amount of duct tape, Elmer's glue, homemade Filipino rice glue, rope, fuzzy handcuffs, Crisco grease, or earmuffs will make a man stay if he doesn't want to. If he does stick around when his heart isn't in it, then he's bangin random chicks on the side or has another girlfriend or maybe even a wife. Pay attention to the signs. If he still wants to leave after Crisco and fuzzy earmuffs, let him go.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. So he had a one night stand when he was out with his buddies one night. "Well he was really drunk and he's never done this before and he swore he didn't do anything to her he doesn't do to me. He promised that he didn't get her number and that he used a condom"....DUMMY he claims he was SOOOOO drunk, how does he know what really happened. Riiiiiiiiiight, he knew EXACTLY what he was doing, and it's probably not the first time!!! Make an excuse this time, I can personally guarantee that it will happen again and/or it has happened before. Matter of fact, if I ever win the lottery (my numbers are coming up Tuesday, I can FEEL it!) I'll put 50k on it. I'm THAT sure.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. This is a hard one, because as a woman, while making excuses about all the effed up behavior, the intuition is being ignored. What a conundrum. That gut feeling is there, but the excuses are making it all better and disguising that gut feeling as hunger pangs. Yeah yeah, so we're so distraught over the effed up behavior and being hurt, that eating is forgotten, obviously that intuitive gut feeling that he's no good is hunger. Go grab a hot pocket and call it a day. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. The signs are always there, as previously stated. I personally am not going to compromise myself for someone else's mistakes. The ship has sailed and I'm heading in the opposite direction. Don't expect me to act like the world famous Ringling Brothers and put on the greatest show on earth to make you remember what you had. You chose to forget it, so keep it moving. I never went out of my way before, it will not commence now.
Slower is better. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand HALT. Rushing into it doesn't benefit anything. If the mofo is worth anything he'll be there in 3 months just like he'll be in 11 months. Slower is definitely better. That's why I'm a birgin. (That typo is there for a reason)
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve....then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Never ever think that a man can be changed. That mofo has to want to change himself FOR himself not for anyone else.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. This is the most important lesson of all. Man, I don't know what women think (self included - been there done that and not proud of it because yes it bit me in the arse). I am not that special and I really thought I was. I'm sure the next chick thinks she is special too. I hope she is, but realistically speaking.....history repeats itself, and that IS a fact.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. Oh so true! Ladies that have men that cheat, verbally abuse you, lie, maybe even get physical.....it is allowed. I've learned that love is not enough. I can have all the love in the world for a person, but with the knowledge that he will never treat me right - I will not continue to clean his doo doo stains and cook his peanut butter and jelly. Oh no!
All men are NOT dogs. This remains to be seen for me. I'm definitely optimistic, and I'm sure there is one man out there who is honest, committed, intelligent, and successful AND insanely funny/witty.....*GASP* that sounds like so much to ask for. Yeah 99% of the good ones are taken, which narrows the pickins, but referring back to the never borrow someone’s man....it's a vicious cycle that makes way too much sense.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. The infamous relationship jumping, in the next one before the last one is over. Where does that leave anyone? It probably ends with a whole lot of heartache.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. Yes indeed, I’ll forever be scarred by the P.O.S. that screwed me over claiming that I was his best friend and that he loved me. What an eye opening experience…..it will definitely take me a lifetime to forget.
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