Blast from the Past

Mr. Aphrodisiac.....yes he is the amazing female libido stimulant. Able to enhance orgasms and heighten arousal simply by his presence, women line up to date him. They try to claw each others eyeballs out so they can say they were the last one to lay eyes on him. But wait......

He is SINGLE!

Oh yes, single and on the prowl. The universe's gift to women is indeed single.

I met Mr. Aphrodisiac about 4 years ago. We went to the movies, hung out a couple times. Unbeknownst to me, he was in some sort of pseudo-relationship with a girl who I didn't know at the time but I would soon meet.

It gets better....

We stop talking for whatever reason, I'd like to think I saw through his silly games (yes I'll stick with that story). A few weeks later, at a mutual friends house, I meet BK, Esquire and Puppylove. I don't remember how Mr. Aphrodisiac came into the conversation but we all determined that we had gone out with him (well Esquire didn't - she didn't fall prey to the orgasm enhancing pheromones, plus her BFF at the time Puppylove was MADLY in love with him). Major laughs at the expense of Puppylove, but hey - in our defense she only knew him for like 4 weeks and she was MADLY in love?

It gets even better.....

2 weekends ago started out as any other normal weekend. Girls night out. Guess who is at the bar? None other than Mr. Aphrodisiac in the flesh 4 years later.

Him: I know this sounds really corny, but I think I know you from somewhere?
Me: Um, maybe, you look kind of familiar
Conversation goes on, I determine that I DO in fact know Mr. Aphrodisiac and he's not some desperate loser using a corny pick up line at the bar on me – blah blah blah compliments blah blah blah – trying to get in my pants I suppose. We do end up talking for a bit, catching up. I give him shit about the game he ran on Puppylove. Not that I particularly care about him, I'm just somewhat bitter about the games men play in general (refer to opening blogs regarding relationSHITS).

So we exchange numbers - hey what’s the harm, an old friend, right? I personally don't want Mr. Aphrodisiac present day. Not my cup of tea. Apparently, that wasn’t the general consensus because the next day, I receive a picture message, I open it and to my surprise and its Mr. Aphrodisiac in ALL of his studly, nekkid, erect, gut-wrenching glory.

Was I turned on? - No. Was that supposed to make me want him? - I assume that was the intent? Was it supposed to make me stop dead in my tracks and drive straight over to Mr. Aphrodisiacs house and drop my panties before he had a chance to undo the dead bolt? In a perfect world with the right man - hmmmmmmmm NOT. I don't see that happening. "Mr. Right/Rite/Wright/Write" would never have to send me pictures of his stuff in an attempt to seal the deal. This wasn't necessarily a case of false advertising, simply advertising too much. If I gave a damn - there would be NO need for advertising - which ties into my statement about Mr. Right not having to do anything extra to seal the deal.

The picture message had me thinking though - maybe this is another area where men and women differ? I personally proof all pictures before they leave my possession. Not saying I send out nudie pics because I most certainly do not *send them out to people that I've known for less than 2 years*. A man will just snap and go, it's crazy! I don't think the sending nudie pictures etiquette is common knowledge?..........Fast forward to the NEXT weekend, I happen to run into Mr. Aphrodisiac at the bar AGAIN. Let's say I don't think I'll be hearing from him again any time soon.