June 2, 2009
Ah yes - Making the move
Because I wanted to be a follower I felt it was time for a change, I've taken the plunge and I've switched over to wordpress.
June 1, 2009
I have a Sex Tape?
*Ring Ring*
Me: Hello
Unidentified Caller: I have a tape of you having sex
Me: Hello? What?
Unidentified Caller: I have a tape of you having sex
Me: What? Who is this?
Unidentified Caller: I can’t say, I just have you on tape having sex with someone.
Me: With who?
Unidentified Caller: I can’t tell you.
Me: I want to see it.
Unidentified Caller: Well I can’t give it to you over the phone. I can meet you somewhere.
Me: Where are you gonna meet me at? You know, you’re about a
DUMB ASS MUTHA FUCKER. You won’t tell me who you are, or who I’m with in my “sex tape” but you’re about to meet me somewhere?
Unidentified Caller: *CLICK*
I have a sex tape. I wonder if its VHS, Beta? Maybe he’ll put it on You Tube oh wait – it’s a TAPE (obviously not up to speed with digitizing things, otherwise, I would have gotten an email with my video, or a link to my uploaded sex clip – dumb ass didn’t think his little prank through. E40, your friends are WACK.)
I hope the camera angle does me justice.
Me: Hello
Unidentified Caller: I have a tape of you having sex
Me: Hello? What?
Unidentified Caller: I have a tape of you having sex
Me: What? Who is this?
Unidentified Caller: I can’t say, I just have you on tape having sex with someone.
Me: With who?
Unidentified Caller: I can’t tell you.
Me: I want to see it.
Unidentified Caller: Well I can’t give it to you over the phone. I can meet you somewhere.
Me: Where are you gonna meet me at? You know, you’re about a
DUMB ASS MUTHA FUCKER. You won’t tell me who you are, or who I’m with in my “sex tape” but you’re about to meet me somewhere?
Unidentified Caller: *CLICK*
I have a sex tape. I wonder if its VHS, Beta? Maybe he’ll put it on You Tube oh wait – it’s a TAPE (obviously not up to speed with digitizing things, otherwise, I would have gotten an email with my video, or a link to my uploaded sex clip – dumb ass didn’t think his little prank through. E40, your friends are WACK.)
I hope the camera angle does me justice.
May 31, 2009
Chugging a Diet Coke - who does that?
Apparently the bartender at Baxters thought I did.Yes I drink rum and diet coke. A refreshing alcoholic beverage with 1/2 the guilt. I'm not sure why Mr. Bartender thought that I was sucking diet coke super fast through the straw just for the hell of it. Who does that? Seriously. He asked me if I wanted another drink, I said yes, and slurpped what was remaining in my cup. He proceeded to refill my glass with JUST diet coke. I almost fell off my bar stool from the laughter.
May 27, 2009
Kindergarten Crush
Funny how I remember this after all these years. This is crazy....DUDE I was smooth as shit back in Kindergarten!!
Jerome Encomienda - he had a little bowl hair cut and dimples. My first crush ever. Then there was David and my friend Marisol.
Jerome and his little friend David would chase Marisol and I around the big boxy jungle jim. Marisol and I would end up climbing all the way to the top and the boys would run circles around the jungle jim in the sand box like hungry wolves waiting for their prey to succumb and climb down. Alas, we never gave in. The bell would eventually ring, Jerome and David would run off into the hallway back to class and leave us sitting atop the jungle jim, victorious in the game of cat and mouse or wolf and prey....whatever it was.
In addition to the chasing, Jerome and David would pull our hair. In Kindergarten my mom always fixed my hair up into pigtails and added some sort of bow to make me look fly. Apparently , I was OCD back then too, because when these two little shits would chase us they would pull our pig tails resulting in hair bumps thus ruining the rest of my day. Back then I didn't have hair supplies readily available in my Strawberry Shortcake lunch box, much less know how to do my own hair. Why messed up hair bothered me in Kindergarten is a mystery. A result of my smoothness I'm sure.
I wonder what Jerome is doing now and if he still has that bowl hair cut.
Jerome Encomienda - he had a little bowl hair cut and dimples. My first crush ever. Then there was David and my friend Marisol.
Jerome and his little friend David would chase Marisol and I around the big boxy jungle jim. Marisol and I would end up climbing all the way to the top and the boys would run circles around the jungle jim in the sand box like hungry wolves waiting for their prey to succumb and climb down. Alas, we never gave in. The bell would eventually ring, Jerome and David would run off into the hallway back to class and leave us sitting atop the jungle jim, victorious in the game of cat and mouse or wolf and prey....whatever it was.
In addition to the chasing, Jerome and David would pull our hair. In Kindergarten my mom always fixed my hair up into pigtails and added some sort of bow to make me look fly. Apparently , I was OCD back then too, because when these two little shits would chase us they would pull our pig tails resulting in hair bumps thus ruining the rest of my day. Back then I didn't have hair supplies readily available in my Strawberry Shortcake lunch box, much less know how to do my own hair. Why messed up hair bothered me in Kindergarten is a mystery. A result of my smoothness I'm sure.
I wonder what Jerome is doing now and if he still has that bowl hair cut.
May 26, 2009
Old News - Reminiscing a Bit
It's natural to think of the past - I'm not dwelling on it anymore, and I've moved on. I bounce back pretty quick once I get the crap out of my system, but this thought was pretty funny to me about a guy I used to "date".
When he was trying to make me believe that the "other woman" meant nothing, and I went on about how I wanted more respect and chivalry and he wasn't cutting it, He had the audacity to say...
Hold on.....
He said that people don't date like I seem to think they do, this isn't the 1950's. Dating of yesteryear is long gone. In other words his idea of dating and what he has always done was go out drinking and/or hang out at home with a bottle and end the night with some mindless drunk fucking. He had me suckered for some time and I have to laugh at my stupidity. I also laugh at his ignorance and complete disregard for being chivalrous and his disrespect for women. I imagine a lot of men think that way (shit, I've come across 99% of them) because some guys are just naturally douche bags who truly believe that's what dating is. It is hard to find the good ones.
On that note, If I choose to end a date with mindless drunk fucking, I will, but only after I've been treated properly. Cheap rum, Coke and Blockbuster aren't doing it for me anymore. Raw fish and martinis are always a good way to start.
When he was trying to make me believe that the "other woman" meant nothing, and I went on about how I wanted more respect and chivalry and he wasn't cutting it, He had the audacity to say...
Hold on.....
He said that people don't date like I seem to think they do, this isn't the 1950's. Dating of yesteryear is long gone. In other words his idea of dating and what he has always done was go out drinking and/or hang out at home with a bottle and end the night with some mindless drunk fucking. He had me suckered for some time and I have to laugh at my stupidity. I also laugh at his ignorance and complete disregard for being chivalrous and his disrespect for women. I imagine a lot of men think that way (shit, I've come across 99% of them) because some guys are just naturally douche bags who truly believe that's what dating is. It is hard to find the good ones.
On that note, If I choose to end a date with mindless drunk fucking, I will, but only after I've been treated properly. Cheap rum, Coke and Blockbuster aren't doing it for me anymore. Raw fish and martinis are always a good way to start.
May 25, 2009
True Blood and Harper's Island
Harper's Island - although it's only a short lived self contained "mini-series" (currently on episode 6), it's freaking AWESOME. 13 weeks, 25 suspects, 1 killer, and I cannot wait to find out who it is! I get sucked into the spoilers and message boards. Uber Geeky.
Far from reality TV, it's actually refreshing to see some scripted acting going on instead of the redundant "find me love", bickering, and fighting. These fucking "I want love" shows piss me the hell off. They are pointless! They always come back for more seasons. What gives them the luxury of having 2 or more seasons of 20+ eligible douche bags to choose from? Oh yes, money and ratings, but dammit, yes I get sucked the fuck in.
I digress
REAL T.V. i.e. Harper's Island. It's great. It actually takes me back to my childhood when the miniseries V was on. I loved it. I think that miniseries turned me Trekkie. 1984 science fiction at its best, and my panties bunched up once a week for that show! Alien lizards try to take over Earth - it gets me excited thinking about it. No correlation to Harper's Island at all other than the fact that it was a mini-series.
True Blood - On HBO (great series on a premium channel - BOO at having to pay extra, but so worth it!). Lost Boys was the first Vampire movie I can remember watching, I loved it. More because of my infatuation with the Corey's, never the less, Lost Boys started it. Long line of Vampire movies to follow; Interview with the Vampire, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Queen of the Damned, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Van Helsing, Fright Night, Blade (all of them), Underworld (both), Love at First Bite, From Dusk till Dawn, 30 days of Night, Twilight, Vampire in Brooklyn....those are only ones I've watched.
Anyway, True Blood brings Vampires mainstream. A company develops a synthetic blood drink, appropriately called "True Blood" with the purpose of allowing Vampires to "come out of the closet" and prove that humans don't have to fear them or fear for their lives since they can get all of their dietary needs fufilled from this synthetic blood and not them. Although about vampires, It really mirrors reality and everyday life - prejudice, ignorance, stereotyping - *deep*
Far from reality TV, it's actually refreshing to see some scripted acting going on instead of the redundant "find me love", bickering, and fighting. These fucking "I want love" shows piss me the hell off. They are pointless! They always come back for more seasons. What gives them the luxury of having 2 or more seasons of 20+ eligible douche bags to choose from? Oh yes, money and ratings, but dammit, yes I get sucked the fuck in.
I digress
REAL T.V. i.e. Harper's Island. It's great. It actually takes me back to my childhood when the miniseries V was on. I loved it. I think that miniseries turned me Trekkie. 1984 science fiction at its best, and my panties bunched up once a week for that show! Alien lizards try to take over Earth - it gets me excited thinking about it. No correlation to Harper's Island at all other than the fact that it was a mini-series.
True Blood - On HBO (great series on a premium channel - BOO at having to pay extra, but so worth it!). Lost Boys was the first Vampire movie I can remember watching, I loved it. More because of my infatuation with the Corey's, never the less, Lost Boys started it. Long line of Vampire movies to follow; Interview with the Vampire, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Queen of the Damned, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Van Helsing, Fright Night, Blade (all of them), Underworld (both), Love at First Bite, From Dusk till Dawn, 30 days of Night, Twilight, Vampire in Brooklyn....those are only ones I've watched.
Anyway, True Blood brings Vampires mainstream. A company develops a synthetic blood drink, appropriately called "True Blood" with the purpose of allowing Vampires to "come out of the closet" and prove that humans don't have to fear them or fear for their lives since they can get all of their dietary needs fufilled from this synthetic blood and not them. Although about vampires, It really mirrors reality and everyday life - prejudice, ignorance, stereotyping - *deep*
May 24, 2009
Memorial Day Jump Off
Dating. Yes I have been, and despite my natural instinct to nest with the first man who doesn't get on my nerves and has the ability to make me laugh, I have not done so....yet (and don't plan on it...yet). Yay Me. I'm going slow this time - not letting History repeat itself. Friday night was Cherry Martini Memorial Day Weekend Jump off night. I don't mean jump off like a booty call, I mean jump off to the Memorial Day weekend. LCG came over with the martini ingredients and some cherries. I personally prefer ma
raschino cherries in my martinis, but he came over with some big ass seeded cherries to slam dunk, I mean slide, into the martinis. It was the thought that counts, I laughed my ass off. A for effort. I guess he doesn't drink cherry martinis often. Probably a good thing - he might be unknowingly ridiculed like pineapple cup was. I quickly forgot about the big ass seeded cherries though when he pulled out the roses - it was sweet and Fuck, I'm not used to this. It was fun. Too bad Esq couldn't join in on the festivities. We polished off the cherry vodka and pomegranate schnapps (I didn't know that flavor existed!) and when we were done I sang a couple Metallica Songs on the XBOX because I RAWK.
May 21, 2009
Text Messaging
Who says you can't have meaningful conversations via text? Certainly not I. In fact, I think I've done everything short of selling my soul to the Devil via text. Let's see.....I've:
- voted on which case has the 10k in it on Deal or No Deal
- sent text messages to the radio station giving them my "feedback"
- given and received directions
- arranged dates
- ordered a drink at the bar
- had text sex. HA - seriously it was one sided text sex. They send me pictures, I laugh hysterically and forward it to my friends
- expressed feelings
May 19, 2009
Spell Check is Yer Frend
Another noteworthy profile. His message was coherent and included the proper punctuation but damn homie, why?Very fisically fit...At first I thought "fiscally" fit and was somewhat impressed "yeah this guy is all about investing and being financially secure". Um no, I continued to read and figured out that Mr. "I make a mean face for my camera phone picture" just doesn't care to portray himself intelligently and couldn't give a damn about spell/grammar check. Maybe it's because he's 1/2 Irsih?
I like wine, I'm no expert. I drink wine out of the box, and screw top bottles - Fuck it, but I certainly know that Pinot "Gritio" is NOT spelled like that.
P.S. Dude - What is a small BARN fire? Are we gonna tip some of them cattle too? If we set a barn on fire, it might end up rather big...
My bone of contention is this - don't talk the big talk trying to impress all the fish in the sea and then spell shit wrong. It's contradictory and makes you look like a dumbass. Hopefully I don't look like a dumbass myself should there happen to be some alternate spelling that I don't know about. Hey, I spell check all my shit and for the record fisically is just wrong.
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