Drive by

I had a drive by experience today. They happen every so often, normally I'm oblivious and don't pay attention to drivers in cars around me - unless of course I see someone picking their nose, but I'm very much like my mother: Eyes forward, elbows bent slightly, and hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel. She never deviated from that, it caused high stress and anxiety. BUT, I remember one time in band camp.....

I kid, I kid.....

Seriously, one time, I had to be in 5th grade, I was riding with my dad...Well we happened to see my mother on the road. First, imagine my 5'2" mother driving a large brown station wagon, she may have even been sitting on books, eyes forward, elbows barely bent, hands at 10 and 2. She didn't even bother to scan her surroundings. Well, my Dad decides to say "Hi" to her, you know get her attention. He speeds up next to her, honks his horn and begins to wave like a mad man....guess what, mother doesn't flinch - eyes remain forward, elbows slightly bent and hands at 10 and 2.

How can you not notice a car speeding up to catch up to you, then honk, and proceed to wave like a freaking crazy person?

I digress.....

So, I'm an aggressive driver, I hate when people pull out in front of me and DRIVE SLOW. I hate when people drive side by side on a 2 lane road at the SAME SPEED!!!! Pass on the left, cruise on the right, Is that so difficult to understand? DAYUM! I just hate when people dilly dally on the road in general. I have places to go, don't hinder my progress. Anyway, today as I was aggressively driving around a dumb ass van that pulled out in front of me and proceeded to dilly dally at approximately 20mph in a 35mph zone, I aggressively pulled around the idiot and got in front of the dummy and went about my merry way *all in a very safe manner*. It just so happened that my actions caught the attention of a gentleman driver in an adjacent car. He looks at me like I'm crazy so in an effort to divert his attention from my *very safe* aggressive driving, I flash my pearly whites. I must have charmed his socks off because he drove beside me for a few minutes. We stopped at a light and he boldly went where no man on the road has ever gone before (well not in 2009) - he asked me for my number.

I quickly run through my check list, which, being the genius that I am, made up on the fly.....

• Cute - CHECK
• Nice car - CHECK

Qualifications met....I rolled down my passenger window and YELLED my number over to him. Thank GOODNESS I no longer have the Jetta with the non-automatic windows. How would that look if I had to lean over to roll the window down.

Mr. Drive By has the number.......

...to be continued